How do you feel in your home?
Have you ever stopped to think about how you feel when you’re in your home?
Or how you want to feel when you’re in your home?
What about how you want your guests to feel in your home?
The foundation of my design philosophy is the connection of our feelings to our homes. For me, this all began when I went through Danielle Laporte’s Desire Map Process (of which I am now a facilitator!). The idea that we can determine our own core desired feelings and take actions everyday to ensure we feel those feelings was life changing for me. When I work with my clients I discover the types of feelings they want to have. Sometimes they can’t put this into words, but I have my ways of figuring it out. There are easy ways to make a space feel a certain way, but there is also an art to creating spaces that meet a complex mixture of feelings.
My personal story
We used to live in a condo that made me feel meh. It was a blend of beige and brown that I hated, because I prefer the crispness of black and white. I struggled with how the home functioned. The dining space was awkward and felt cramped. The closets didn’t make use of the space causing us to feel like we didn’t have enough space which stressed us out. The lighting was poor (and very yellow) and the bathrooms were the opposite of “spa-like”. The kitchen didn’t inspire me to cook so we rarely entertained. I didn’t have a proper office space where I could be creative and focused. We made changes here and there that improved things. But at the end of the day, we knew that we needed a different kind of home altogether.
As a couple, we sat down one evening and made a physical mood board (I’m talking scissors, glue, poster-board, magazines and markers!). We wanted to ensure we were on the same page about what we wanted in a new home and what we wanted to feel in our new home. And you guessed it - this related to our core desired feelings at the time.
Fast forward a couple years and I can say that being in my home makes me feel alive. We both love having our friends here, connecting over food and wine in our inviting (and functional) dining room. We created a washroom that is a mini escape that makes getting ready each morning enjoyable. Blankets, pillows, sheepskins and candles are everywhere so it feels cozy, warm and welcoming. My office is both simple and also a little wild which gives me that ability to focus and the inspiration to be creative. There are hits of whimsy and humour to remind us to not take life too seriously. Our bedroom is a sanctuary of calm and comfort and has improved our sleep. We got creative with storage so that everything has a place and we’re less stressed as a result. And it’s all based on a black and white colour scheme (so you know I’m happy). Our life here feels easy, simple, and happy. The home feels like us. And that makes us feel good.
Another perspective
So you know that guy Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs? It’s the perfect way to interpret the power that our home has on our emotions and wellbeing. Our homes support us in so many ways. If we take it to the next level and focus on how we can create spaces that help us thrive, we can increase our happiness and improve our lives.
Think about the impact that a lack of entryway storage can have on a family. Visual clutter tends to be stressful, not to mention having to search for items or tripping over them!
Or if your bedroom walls are a colour that you dislike. How often are you thinking about how much you dislike that colour? How much negativity is that adding to your life?
Do you have a space right now that you love? What is it that you love about it and how does it make you feel when you’re in it? Now imagine if all the spaces in your home made you feel that good.
The right colours, the right textures, the right objects, the right functions - they can all make an impact and support your best self.
What does this mean for you
I’m not saying you need to go out tomorrow and renovate your whole home or buy a new home to achieve this. What I am saying is that when it comes time to do updates, to renovate or to look for a new home: put that connection to your heart and your feelings first. Not only are you going to love your home, your home is going to support you in every aspect of your life. And remember that your desired feelings and your home are unique to you! The same things that make me happy are likely not all the same things that make you happy. And that’s the way it should be.
There are simple ways to start updating your space that will start creating those good feelings. Want to make a space feel more cozy - add a warm blanket and a beautiful candle. Want to feel more inspired - hang a bold, abstract print on the wall that makes your mind wander and get the creative juices flowing. Remember - it’s about you. And if it happens to also be what is trendy - well that’s great - but you, your feelings and your heart will outlast any trend.
I want to hear from you
Let me know how you feel in your home currently and how you’d like to feel. Are there any spaces that, if changed, could make a big difference in how you feel? Please comment below and/or send me your thoughts (anonymously) through this form. I want to get a better understanding of where you may be struggling with that connection to your home. Then I can provide more content that may help get you to that ideal state of feeling the way you want to feel.
Kierstin Smyth Design
Edmonton Interior Design Consultant